i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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