So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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