i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
