Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize