is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
