well you can't waste a boner
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
