Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize