I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
