Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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