He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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