I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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