rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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