I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
