Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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