Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
