ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
