I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
