WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm both gender and math confused
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
