remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
They took my balls.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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