you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
