Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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