I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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