The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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