Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
