just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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