Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
