Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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