His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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