Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize