there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
