Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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