i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i out mim tonsoeep
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