Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
