So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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