I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
