if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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