Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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