Your dad touched me again.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize