The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Congratulations! We have a period
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize