plz talk dirty to me
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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