Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
