I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
