my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
