Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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