Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
