This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
