Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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