Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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