Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
