I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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