I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
