Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
