To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i've created a new STD.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Randomize
