I swear she didn't look like that last week.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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