nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
