I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
