haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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