Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i think im in europe. pls send help
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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