dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
