You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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