Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
