I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
