I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
