I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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