We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
