Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
