First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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