thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
