I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my phone needs a breathalizer
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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