Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
