This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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